Happy Quittin’ Day, Sarah Palin!

For some, the unforgettable thing about that day was Sarah Palin’s erratic breathing, huffing and panting (everything but the bong noise).

For others, it was the formless, wandering and bizarre “speech”.

But my outstanding memory is of Ma Palin’s terrible, horrible, no good, very bad drug hair.

One brave little bot had some concerns over the derisive laughter that greeted the quitting speech, so much so that it recently did some research to find some answers:

The total speech lasted 18m38s. As every speech has an introduction, main body, and conclusion I tried to divide her speech into those categories.

The first time Sarah said she was not seeking reelection occurred at 11m21s, or 62% of the way into her speech.
The first time she said she was handing authority to Parnell occurred at 12m19s, or 67% of the way into her speech.

A few thoughts upon reaquainting myself with this speech. First, it had a highly unusual structure. Most speeches have a small introduction and conclusion, and a big main body. Sarah’s had the introduction as the biggest part, and the main body not too much bigger than the conclusion.

Personally I think the speech would have been stronger if the introduction and conclusion had both been only a few sentences each. The reason for the speech, namely why she was resigning, kind of got lost in amongst a lot of other stuff. Eleven and twelve minutes are much too long to get to the two most important statements in the speech, namely that she is not seeking reelection and that she would in fact be stepping down early.

Second, it would also have been better if she had numbered her reasons.

Third, her statement “Don’t explain: your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe you
anyway” was something I disagreed with at the time, and time has proven that it was false.

Fourth, while the speech was relatively weak her delivery was fine. The problem was the speech as it was written not as it was delivered.

What would this smart little bot have written had it been aware that Ma Palin her very self wrote that erratic, nonsensical and amateurish bullshit all by herself? Ha!

Since Sarah Palin up and quit her elected position in Alaska she has lived the life she always dreamed of …. wealth, celebrity, a microphone … yet she insists she was drummed out of the job (a job she hated, according to her published emails). If only it were so easy to get every two-bit, good-for-nothing governor out of office.

Happy Quittin’ Day, Quitter!