Archive for the ‘Comedy’ Category

“Sarah Palin loves us too much NOT to run!”
October 5, 2011

So sure have Palinutz been for months that Sarah Palin was possessed of enough integrity to never string them along while taking their money. So sure. I wish I could feel sorry for them, but they’re evil little creatures; you’d never have one for a pet even if you could domesticate it.

Jasmine Clark [Moderator] 24 minutes ago
if she didn’t run i would be SO upset. she strung her supporters along for months and then let them down? that’s like being stabbed in the back by a friend. i trust her, she’s too honest to do that. she wouldn’t lead us on and keep us waiting only to let us down. if she were to not run, i would lose trust in her.

plus, i and MANY others would lose interest in her somewhat. one thing that is really interesting about her is the fact that she seems like she’s running. if she says no, many conservatives will be less interested in her, and liberals will be so happy. and they’ll start being nice to her for the first time. because she’s not a threat.
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BricesCrossroads [Moderator] Yesterday 01:25 AM
The lunch and long meeting with Singleton and McCormick at the Iowa State Fair is yet another wink and a nod to her supporters that she is running. She is trying to calm the jittery nerves of some who are over anxious while, at the same time, not tipping her hand to her enemies. There is no way, NO WAY that this woman would have an extended meeting with these two selfless volunteers who have put their lives on hold for her, send them out to campaign the very next day and then pull the rug out from under them by not running.

Some (indeed perhaps many) politicians are capable of such a subterfuge aimed even at loyalists ( I can see Perry or Romney or Bachmann doing something akin to this and sleeping like a baby). Not Palin. Nothing in my observations of her, or in her history, suggests that she is wired this way. Whether she GETS loyalty and support from others is open to question (indeed, she gets it in very small quantities from politicians even those she has endorsed…like Joe Miller, Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry, Nikki Haley and on and on). She always GIVES loyalty to those who deserve it, whether it be our soldiers or her committed, selfless volunteers like Singleton and McCormick.
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palinsupporter1 [Moderator] Today 02:23 AM in reply to TheTotalConservative
Because of course Palin would go to a huge rally for her with thousands of people there who came to hear her announce and give a major speech to announce she’s not running… how stupid can you get?
exodus2011 and 4 more liked this Like Reply Reply

TheTotalConservative [Moderator] Today 02:31 AM in reply to palinsupporter1
I saw some jerk on twitter say that he agreed with Crowley saying that. Palin is Running. She would never do that to Thousands of People there.
gilamonster8 liked this Like Reply Reply

TheTotalConservative [Moderator] Today 03:14 AM
Polls are going to be the main thing they use to try to beat Governor Palin. The Corrupt Republican Pieces of Shit will post every bad poll for Palin because that is all the have. She has to run. She has to fight or she is Done. Finished. I can accept losing but I can accept Not Trying. She knows she has to run for herself. The People that want her to go away don’t want her to run. The pieces of dirt that buy into Perry are Stupid.
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Jasmine Clark [Moderator] Today 12:48 AM
if she at this point chose not to run after all this buildup and excitement and encouraging o4p to keep going and lots of hints toward a run, i would help you in dropping her off the cliff of political obscurity
militantfeather and 2 more liked this Like Reply Reply

“I’m confident she will announce. She wouldn’t lead people on like that, so I am pretty sure that she will,” supporter Doug Adams said.

korn8131 [Moderator] Today 09:37 PM
If I may, I would like to interject here and
now, that without any doubt, Sarah Palin, is going to run for POTUS. Now you
ask, how does this A-hole know that? The wife and I were fortune enough to be at the Machine Shed for the Conservatives4Palin get together. Again, fortune enough to be seated in a booth just outside the kitchen entrance, where she was
escorted through to avoid the big crowd, waiting for her at the entrance into
the reserved banquet room. As she exited the kitchen, she was immediately
surrounded by enthusiastic supporters. I being one of them, and my poor wife was trapped in the booth and couldn’t get out. Sarah and Todd were shaking hands and autographing pictures. I stepped back onto the bench in the booth where we were seated, in order to try and get some pictures. About that time Sarah notice my wife stranded in the booth, so what does this women do? She politely made her way over to Bev and stuck her hand out and said “Hi Bev”, (we had name tags on).
Next thing she asked, “Where are you from Bev?” “How far did you travel?” and
then, “Thank you so much for traveling that far and supporting this activity.”
Now you have to ask yourself, why would a women with so much sincerity go to a
supporter, rather then let that support come to her, then turn right around and
say will it was nice meeting you but I have decided not to run for POTUS. With
that encounter at the Machine Shed and then the following day, her speech, where she laid out her five point platform, convinced me with out any doubt, she will run! And God willing, will be our next President.

“Game On”

Youbetch !

A Tea Party Patriot
irishcoins and 13 more liked this Like Reply Reply

John JWilfred [Moderator] 36 minutes ago in reply to korn8131
After Sarah made that awesome gesture toward your wife Bev, there is no way Sarah will turn around and look at your wife in the eye and say she is not running. Sarah is running and the LSM and GOP pundits do not want to admit it or are too biased to see it.
My guess she will announce in time to be at the Sept 22 debate in Orlando, Fl. She will rock the Villages just like last time she was there in 2008.
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grizzlyrising [Moderator] Today 01:41 AM in reply to Mountain
“It is getting easier to wait, as we become surer of her decision to run.”

Yes, August was hard but I’ve been at peace in September. To decline a run now would be bizarre and she wouldn’t do that to us.
Mountain and 4 more liked this Like Reply Reply

Mountain [Moderator] Today 01:51 AM in reply to grizzlyrising
She made it crystal, when she said she LOVED seeing the O4P and C4P people.
She wouldn’t lead us on like that; she IS RUNNING!
LORD, HELP and give us all strength and faith.
inde4sarah and 4 more liked this Like Reply Reply

jeffo1 34 minutes ago in reply to KennethF
The one thing I tell myself when doubt creeps in is this:

If she was not running she would have told us long before now.

This Patriot has and is willing to sacrifice much more so please cut her some slack.
pipam12 and 4 more liked this Like ReplyReply

rightConcept 18 minutes ago in reply to jeffo1

I believe this also.
1 person liked this. Like ReplyReply

Quang Do Today 02:57 AM in reply to SonOfOriginalTed

Where the heck did people get the idea that Gov. Palin is not going to run for president?If Gov. Palin is not going to run, then she would NOT havewasted our times and her times for months. She would have toldher supporters to stop a long time ago.
I heard Chris Christie saying he is not going to run, but Idid NOT hear Gov. Palin saying anything about not running.
Akabosan and 6 more liked this Like ReplyReply

Quang Do Today 02:40 AM

To all Gov. Palin’s doubters:
If you don’t think Gov. Palin will be running for president, thenyou are more stupid than you look.
Flag susiepuma and 8 more liked this Like ReplyReply

A number of Palinutz were forced to defect after being censured for asking Palin for a decision. They started their own blog but didn’t gain an ounce of wisdom:

I have written this often but the one primary reason that I believe she is running is because Sarah has never told all the folks working with O4P to stop. I just can’t imagine her letting them work so hard to no effect. It doesn’t seem in character at all.

If you need a good laugh this week, go on over to conservatives4palin, but be careful – the psychosis of the past three years has been turned loose. ick!

While Sarah Palin thought about it, 229 less-frightened people have filed for President
October 5, 2011

How many candidates would there be if passing a mental health test was a mandatory condition for filing? At least one of these characters think they’re nominating for a king’s throne …

and with any luck there’ll soon be another crackpot joining them – nominating for Queen Esther:

There's still room in the GOP clown car, Sarah!

1 P20003232 ADAMS, DOROTHY ANN 2011-08-04
2 P60004793 ADESHINA, YINKA ABOSEDE 2011-04-15
3 P20003182 AMMANN, AARON LEON 2011-08-01
4 P20002374 ARAGON, DAVID G 2010-12-21
6 P20002978 BACHMANN, MICHELE 2011-06-13
7 P80003957 BAILEY, GEORGE BRENT JR 2010-07-07
8 P20002150 BALLARD, GEORGE HENRY III 2010-04-12
9 P80004815 BANKS, J E WENDELL KENNEDY 2011-09-06
10 P20002689 BAREA, JEFFREY 2011-09-22
11 P20002697 BARNETT, ANDRE N 2011-04-21
12 P20002358 BEACH, RALPH ALLEN 2010-10-12
13 P20003505 BLACK, ANGELA 2011-09-26
14 P20002598 BLANKENSHIP, JARED 2011-04-05
15 P20002028 BLISS, RUSSELL P JR (RUSTY) 2009-09-11
16 P20003398 BLOCK, JEFF 2011-08-30
17 P80005077 BOSS, JEFFREY HARLAN 2009-07-01
18 P20003257 BRAUN, HARRY WILLIAM III 2011-08-12
19 P80005002 BROWN, ROBERT PAUL JR 2011-04-11
20 P20002002 BROWN, WHENCE RONELL 2009-08-13
21 P20002788 BRUZZESI, THOMAS J 2011-05-13
22 P20003265 BRYANT, DARRYL 2011-08-15
23 P20002234 BUSH, SAVANNAH JEWEL MCCUMBER 2010-07-06
24 P20002226 BUSH, TANNER CLINE MCCUMBER 2010-07-06
25 P00002295 BYERLEY, LESTER F JR 2011-04-27
26 P80003221 CAESAR, PRESIDENT EMPEROR 2010-12-13
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43 P20002069 COOPER, GEORGE 2011-07-25
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139 P20002515 MCCORMICK, RICHARD S 2011-02-02
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143 P60003290 MCMILLAN, JIMMY (AKA) JAMES 2011-02-07
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“It’s Classified” Mentally Ill Character Based on Sarah Palin
September 29, 2011

Former top McCain aide Nicolle Wallace’s latest novel includes a character based on Sarah Palin (a nutbag VP who resigns in disgrace, much like an ethically-challenged psycho who is forced from office to become a reality TV celebrity).

Nicolle Wallace did her level best to knowingly get the real psychopath, Sarah Palin, into high office and now she aims to profit from that.

You can download the book free at mediafire if you’re interested in reading it. I’m not.

“Top 10 Reasons the Palin Cult is Not a Cult” by the Palin Cult
September 10, 2011

Mutton dressed as lamb dressed as emissions-huffing biker slut

technopeasant [Moderator] 37 minutes ago

For those who think Palinistas are cultists, here are 10 legitimate non-cultist reasons various Palinistas support her. It’s like going shopping for groceries. If one of these reasons is your cup of tea, you put it in the buggy, if not you walk by it. So be it.

1) As TTC said it a few hours ago, she is the only GOP presidential contender who can beat Obama. Betting on or backing a winning horse does NOT make you a cultist.

* All the polls say she couldn’t come close to beating Obama. Palin’s cultists simply ignore the odds.

2) Because they know her (refers mainly to folks who reside in Alaska). Just because I talk to or intermingle with my neighbor socially or know of her doesn’t mean I am a cultist. That’s called guilt by association. And that’s un-American.

* The majority of Alaskans who “know” her have only contempt for her. Palin’s cultists ignore her sky-high disapproval rating in Alaska.

3) You like the way she performs on the political stage. Just because you appreciate the finer distinctions of her political abilities and prowess doesn’t make you a cultist. What it makes you is a connoisseur.

* Shrill word salad, pornstar platform shoes, and predictable re-hashed talking points aren’t material for connoisseurs; they’re material for Palin’s cultists.

4) Because you are a conservative and Palin is a conservative. Conservatism is an ideology and personal choice and not a passport to coercive brainwashing or mind control.

Invalid argument.

5) Because she stands up to Obama and his radical agenda and is his #1 nemesis. Linked to #1 it goes beyond that in suggesting the Palinista who supports Palin for this reason is politically astute and understands the concept of political matchups.

* Obama ignores her. Only Palin’s cultists would believe they’re politically astute.

6) Because she is young and in her political prime. Sporting aficionados love watching sports’ superstars in the their prime. Was a golf fan a cultist for loving to watch Tiger Woods play golf in his prime? I think not. What they realize though, one is not young forever. Enjoy it while it is here. The time to support Palin is now!

* She’s middle-aged, nipped and tucked mutton dressed up as lamb, and she quit her elected position. Only Palin’s cultists view being “driven from office” as a strength.

7) Palinistas love or respect Palin’s brilliance and intelligence and past accomplishments. When did one ‘s recognition of someone’s success make one a cultist? When a soldier wins the Congressional medal of honor, is the President a cultist for presenting it to him? Palinistas consider it a resume-enhancer, nothing more and nothing less.

* No evidence offered of brilliance nor intelligence. Past accomplishments confined to raising taxes and failed, unbuilt, unwanted pipeline-to-nowhere. Only Palin’s cultists believe those are ‘resume-enhancers’.

8} After seeing The Undefeated. So one sees the light and has a personal revelation to support Sarah Palin after seeing the movie and became spellbound akin to a religious conversion. And later one joins O4P. Does becoming a Palinista under these circumstances make one a cultist? No. Because no one was forcing you to like the movie or unduly influencing you to become a Palinista.

* Spellbound? Religious conversion? Palin’s cultists regularly worship her in exactly those terms.

9) I want my children to have a better life; with Obama and the Leftists at the helm of the ship of state, I am losing hope for them. Sarah Palin will provide them that hope for a better life. So a father or mother wants a better life for their children. For them Palin is a means to an end. Choosing to back a political candidate for that reason does not make one a cultist.

* Under Palin’s failed administration Alaska had the highest school drop-out rate in the country; Palin most certainly did NOT “provide them that hope for a better life”. Palin’s cultists ignore unsavory facts (and Punchumgum doubts the existence of children of lonely old racist white guy technopeasant).

10) Sarah Palin is a devout Christian. 95% of Blacks voted for Obama in 2008. Are they cultists because they identify with Obama’s skin color or had a desire to see the first Black president in office? No. The key word is “identify”. Just because a Christian embraces Sarah Palin at the ballot box does not mean that person sees her as a cult leader. Rather Palin represents an affirmation of their values and that these values will be well represented in the White House.

* Sarah Palin has not attended a church service in years – and admits it. She is devoutly anti-church attendance. Palin’s cultists are disconnected from that nasty little reality (and technopeasant misuses the word “Christian” when referring to his Christianist values).

WHO identifies with Obama's color?

Sarah Palin’s Flying Monkeys NEW ‘Plan B’ to destroy IMDb’s integrity – Update: Israeli Cojones fightback
July 21, 2011

The respected institution known as IMDb will never be the same now that it has been infested by the infamous Palin toxic stink. IMDb is in good company, though: Palin’s Flying Monkeys last year forced Dancing With the Stars to protect its reputation and its voting system against them, and this year the Palin Fruit Bats were caught altering Paul Revere’s Wikipedia entry to reflect the bullshit that Sarah Palin had sprayed in public about his famous ride; they succeeded in spamming Sarah Palin right up TIME Magazine’s ‘100 Most Influential People’ poll only to find to their dismay that TIME completely disregarded the poll …. and let’s not forget the fake Twitter account the Palinutz created using the name of Crivella West, publisher of Palin’s highly-censored emails released a few weeks ago.

Fraud, dishonesty, lies, bullshit, spammed polls … all we need is death threats against judges and it’d be like the Palin Administration all over again!

The Cult’s attempts yesterday to fraudulently raise the IMDb rating of their Queen’s movie tribute to herself failed miserably, so their poll-spamming Einstein is back day and night rallying the Palin footsoldiers …. well, some of ’em ….

IsraeliCojones [Moderator] Today 04:42 PM

Just went to the IMDB site and seriously, the trolls are cleaning our clock.

Here are the updates:

– total votes: 733 (+ 129)

– the “1” votes are 502 (+ 83) and 68.5% (- 0.9%)
– the “10” votes are 202 (+ 40) and 27.6% (+ 0.8%) but also
– the “9” votes are 13 (1.8%) (Palinistas diversifying :D)

Interestingly though, the trolls were 146 more yesterday, and now they are 83 (-63). Is this a sign of fatigue? Wouldn’t bet on it but.

The Palin Patriots vote at a steady average of 45 per day.

Not enough, but better than none. We need more. We need 300 Patriots to vote up this film.

We can win this, by holding our ground until they give up (and they will).

As per usual, post the following link on FB, twitter, everywhere you can:

And tell people to rate the film.…

I will repost a complete post on the next OT, with all the usual reminders.
Rose F and 2 more liked this Like Reply Reply

juju341 [Moderator] Today 04:51 PM in reply to IsraeliCojones
Give it a rest…means nothing.
Jo Jones liked this Like Reply Reply


IsraeliCojones [Moderator] Today 05:01 PM in reply to juju341
YOU should give it a rest.

Why don’t you just ignore the post if you’re not interested?

Others are: get over it.
Rose F and 2 more liked this Like Reply Reply

IsraeliCojones is a woman in Israel, deeply obsessed with Sarah Palin and completely uninterested in the parlous state of her own country. Unsurprisingly, she is also an ardent racist. It’s not known if she does indeed possess testicles.


A reminder of what IMDB is:

#38 global site, #25 US site, 57 millions unique users per month.

IOW, a HUGE site, extremely influential to all movie-goers and movie-fans around the world.

The Undefeated is rated there at 1.6. One 0.1 progress. There’s a long way to go

Since yesterday we have lost ground AGAIN. The Opposition is still highly motivated in dragging the film down on this influential site:

– the “1” votes are 419 (69.4 + 1.3%) + 146
– the “10” votes are 162 (26.8% – 1.4%) + 49

nick noted 2 days ago that perhaps voting 8.0 or 9.0 would be more efficient (it’s impossinle to know as long as we don’t get far more numerous votes than the trolls, but you can always try).

Please go there :…

– RATE the film, by scrolling your mouse on the stars under the title, and click on the rate you wish (a “10” would be a good idea); this procedure is the most important and it takes one second.
– vote up good reviews; (do it everyday)
– vote down bad reviews (do it everyday – this is important, because the review with the best average gets displayed on the main page)
– post a review if you can;
– pass the link on FB, twitter, and every site you know, and tell them to rate the film.
– rate up Bannons’s films.

SWITCHING TO PLAN B (thank you PhillyCon!)

– The film is showing in the following States: AZ, CA, CO, FL, GA, IN, MO, NC, OK, TX, WI
– Please contact your O4P Person if you live in one of those States
– Tell them to send an action item re. IMDB, so that they contact the viewers who can rate and review the film
– If they don’t understand the importance of the site, copy-paste my post if you want

The Trolls are rating at a 4-1 rate against us. And they haven’t see the film.

There is a reason for this: this film, as we’ve seen, can change HEARTS AND MINDS.
That’s why they fear it.
This film is an essential tool to Sarah Palin’s future campaign.

Let’s win this, like we won on Amazon!

Fight the Propaganda Machine.
There’s a campaign coming.
Game On!

Read more about IMDB here:…

Thank you for your attention and sorry for the repetition.
ZH100 and 3 more liked this Like Reply Reply

GrmaTX [Moderator] Today 04:14 AM in reply to IsraeliCojones
Just spent an hour at the IMDb site “liking” positive reviews.
Bill589 and 2 more liked this Like Reply Reply

I love the logic of the Palinbotz: if you didn’t think Palin’s movie about herself was fabulous and world-changing, you didn’t really see it.

Grateful thanks to the brilliant Azure Ghost for the use of the poster.

Sarah Palin Cult making plans to spam Internet Movie Data Base
July 19, 2011

imDb has for a long time been the go-to site for information about – and responses to – movies and television shows.

Sarah Palin’s poll spamming slaves are about to change all of that. Palin’s movie tribute to herself currently rates 1.5/10 at imDb; let’s see how it looks after a bunch of people who’ve never seen it start spinning it up.

After all, spamming cyber polls worked for Palin when she was governor. Remember her so-called “80% positive” rating?

IsraeliCojones [Moderator] 32 minutes ago

A reminder of what IMDB is:

#38 global site, #25 US site, 57 millions unique users per month.

IOW, a HUGE site, extremely influential to all movie-goers and movie-fans around the world.

The Undefeated is still rated there at 1.5.

Since yesterday we have lost ground. It tells you that the Opposition is still highly motivated in dragging the film down on this influential site:

– the “1” votes are 273 (68.1 + 2.1%) + 107
– the “10” votes are 113 (28.2% – 1.8%) + 37

nick noted yesterday that perhaps voting 8.0 or 9.0 would be more efficient (it’s impossinle to know as long as we don’t get far more numerous votes than the trolls, but you can always try).

Note: some here have reviewed the film but have forgotten to rate it!

Please go there :…

– RATE the film, by scrolling your mouse on the stars under the title, and click on the rate you wish (a “10” would be a good idea); this procedure is the most important and it takes one second.
– vote up good reviews;
– vote down bad reviews (this is important, because the review with the best average gets displayed on the main page)
– post a review if you can;
– pass the link on FB, twitter, and every site you know, and tell them to rate the film.
– while you’re at it, rate up Bannons’s films: he really deserves it.

Keep working on it, Palin Patriots! A reminder:

The trolls always get tired after a few days. It took weeks to turn about the situation at Amazon when Going Rogue came out.
And now the number of “5 stars” is 863, the number of “1 star” is 311, and the average customer review is “4 stars”. A complete success.

Fight the Propaganda Machine.
There’s a campaign coming.
Yes, we can! *cough, cough*

Read more about IMDB here:…

Thank you for your attention and sorry for the repetition (I will repost on the nightly Open Thread).
Roberta Williams and 2 more liked this Like Reply Reply

Sleazy film distributor uses children to bump up attendance at Sarah Palin infomercial
July 17, 2011

The fundamentalist Victory Film Group is so desperate after the opening failure of Sarah Palin’s glowing tribute to herself that they’ve looked to the kiddies to help her out.

Not everyone’s kids spend their time lying to their parents and getting trashed on booze and fornicating in groups like Bristol Palin habitually did, and the film distributor has tracked down some of the youngest and most vulnerable members of the Sarah Palin Cult to persuade them to record something glowing about the star of the movie investment that’s bleeding money.

It’s bizarre watching a 15-year-old urging Sarah Palin to run for office – and me to vote for her – but I have to admit these kids learned their Palin talking points and ‘victim language’ very, very well.

I have to admit, also, that I’m tired of hearing about the millions of Palin supporters out there – nobody ever mentions which planet these supporters live on!

Sarah Palin demands, “I want butts on seats and panic in the streets!”
July 15, 2011

We know from Frank Bailey’s memoir of his years as Sarah Palin’s #1 paid sycophant that Mrs Palin daily issued her talking points to her cult website, conservatives4palin. These were relayed via another paid Palin sycophant, Bekki Mansour.

Sadly for Bekki, she was fired in May for talking out of her big mouth instead of out of her big ass as usual. Obviously Mrs Citizen Palin has been running her own interference with her cult, because they have become like Mrs Citizen Palin herself – hyperactive, erratic, focused on meaningless small details, loud, desperate, and dishonest.

The focus of all this angst is Mrs Palin’s glowing film tribute to herself – The UnderFetid – that she is pushing with whatever energy is left after the effect of the diet pills and Red Bull dies down. She must be emailing her writers at conservatives4palin at least ten times a day – in the past 18 days they’ve written a staggering 75 posts praising the Palin tribute movie and begging each other every couple of hours to go see this movie every couple of hours. (see below) Mrs Palin issued each of the resident scribblers with a copy of the movie but it’s not clear if they wrote their glowing reviews of it before or after they received the film.

The scribblers have begged each other to buy 5 tickets in an attempt to make sure there are sellout screenings (in theaters seating less than 150). One poor, lonely middle-aged (and more-than-slightly-creepy) man has available nine spare tickets, he says. (Sapwolf, a ticket to see Palin’s Triumph of the Will is not a way to meet women, whatever you think.)

So – why all this fuss about an infomercial? Because Mrs Palin is hoping against hope that ordinary folks who think she’s an ignorant attention whore

will pay ten bucks out of curiosity to view this heavily-censored record of her political life.

Mrs Palin is further hoping that the ‘curious’ general public will be so moved by her tribute to herself that they will soon be rioting in the streets, demanding she run for President of the United States in the same anguished manner that the Palinutz do: “Only you can save America, Sarah Palin!”

The recent “world premiere” of this lop-sided advertisement was well-attended – but only by the media. The hordes and hordes of Palin admirers demanding Sarah Palin run for President just never showed up (even though, according to them, there are millions of them).

However, in an effort to fill up the theater by taking up at least three seats, the lonely, unemployed and desperate Bekki Mansour did show up.

All she got for her trouble was the v-e-r-y cold shoulder from a former employer with a very rude crucifix vajazzle …

I don’t know of any person (reasonable or otherwise) who wants to sit through a two-hour advertisement for Sarah Palin, even for the inevitable laughs, so I guess I’ll never know what the movie was really like – but here’s one of the first reviews. The reviewer was consequently not invited to the NY preview of the final cut.

Rotten Tomatoes is also on the case, and of one mind:

Sarah Palin’s tribute to herself (meaning without the scandals of the sports center, Dairygate and Troopergate for starters) will open today in a theater not near you or anyone you know, for a very limited run. If you see it and believe any of it, please drop me a line. I have a pipeline to nowhere you might be interested in laying a bet on.

Conservatives4Palin has failed miserably in all of their efforts and they’re running out of ways to satisfy Mrs Palin’s demands (words are so elitist, aren’t they?) but she has a bee up her ass about her movie tribute and she keeps right on their backs. Every day.

Happy Quittin’ Day, Sarah Palin!
July 3, 2011

For some, the unforgettable thing about that day was Sarah Palin’s erratic breathing, huffing and panting (everything but the bong noise).

For others, it was the formless, wandering and bizarre “speech”.

But my outstanding memory is of Ma Palin’s terrible, horrible, no good, very bad drug hair.

One brave little bot had some concerns over the derisive laughter that greeted the quitting speech, so much so that it recently did some research to find some answers:

The total speech lasted 18m38s. As every speech has an introduction, main body, and conclusion I tried to divide her speech into those categories.

The first time Sarah said she was not seeking reelection occurred at 11m21s, or 62% of the way into her speech.
The first time she said she was handing authority to Parnell occurred at 12m19s, or 67% of the way into her speech.

A few thoughts upon reaquainting myself with this speech. First, it had a highly unusual structure. Most speeches have a small introduction and conclusion, and a big main body. Sarah’s had the introduction as the biggest part, and the main body not too much bigger than the conclusion.

Personally I think the speech would have been stronger if the introduction and conclusion had both been only a few sentences each. The reason for the speech, namely why she was resigning, kind of got lost in amongst a lot of other stuff. Eleven and twelve minutes are much too long to get to the two most important statements in the speech, namely that she is not seeking reelection and that she would in fact be stepping down early.

Second, it would also have been better if she had numbered her reasons.

Third, her statement “Don’t explain: your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe you
anyway” was something I disagreed with at the time, and time has proven that it was false.

Fourth, while the speech was relatively weak her delivery was fine. The problem was the speech as it was written not as it was delivered.

What would this smart little bot have written had it been aware that Ma Palin her very self wrote that erratic, nonsensical and amateurish bullshit all by herself? Ha!

Since Sarah Palin up and quit her elected position in Alaska she has lived the life she always dreamed of …. wealth, celebrity, a microphone … yet she insists she was drummed out of the job (a job she hated, according to her published emails). If only it were so easy to get every two-bit, good-for-nothing governor out of office.

Happy Quittin’ Day, Quitter!

A Game: Spot the Palin Woman Who Was Never Pregnant and Unmarried
June 29, 2011

From left: Unwed Teen Mother Kandice, Shotgun Bride Sarah, Unwed Teen Mother Bristol, Shotgun Bride Britta, Never-Pregnant-and-Unmarried Piper.

Let’s play again: Spot the Palin/Heath Woman Who’s Never Been Pregnant and Unmarried:

The Palin-Heath Women Who Can’t Keep Their Panties Up Club:
Back row from left: Abby Heath, Sarah Palin’s middle-aged brother Chuck Heath’s latest Shotgun Bride, Unwed Teen Mother Kandice, Shotgun Bride Sarah, Unwed Teen Mother Bristol, Shotgun Bride Britta, Sarah Palin’s mother Shotgun Bride Sally, Sarah Palin’s sister Shotgun Bride Molly. Front row: Never-Pregnant-and-Unmarried Piper (honorary member).

It seems that the only one of these freaks who stopped rutting long enough to organize some contraception is Willow Palin. For now.